did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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