1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
