He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
