dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
