i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
