no, he came in my armpit
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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