GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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