If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
