That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
