Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
