..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
