This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Are we still banned from the library?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
