She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
