dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
