so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
