chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
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So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
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But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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