Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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