So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize