theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
