Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
