i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
