Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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