I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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