ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
