I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
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