She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
