I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
