What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
