I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
