At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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