Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
