Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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