"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
