At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?