well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
This house was built for laser tag.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off