Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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