I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night