you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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