My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
and she was petting her beer can
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
