There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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