White coat. Heels.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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