i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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