dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
