Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
