Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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