We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize