I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
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i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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