You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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