Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize