tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Sext me about skeletons
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
