Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
