Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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