At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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