Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
