i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
