chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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